Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize