just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
