Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
