We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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