is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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