I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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