u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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