a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
