I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize