i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
