i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
