there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
