either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I need moral support for this bender
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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