I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
