i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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