WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
