I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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