I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
