You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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