We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
