i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
