I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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