Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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