I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
