Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
