He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
40s are totally the cure
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Randomize
