So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
