I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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