1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize