If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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