allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's rum buckets o'clock
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
