We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize