im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
