Kiss
Puke
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
