I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
