We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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