Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
