Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
