I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize