I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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