So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
