Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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