honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
