Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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