youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
