That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you will always have a special place in my vag
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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