I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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