i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
