Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
