im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
