mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
