What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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