Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
