ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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