just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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