Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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