it wasn't lemon gatorade
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
