Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
