Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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