we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
