"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
