Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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